Author: Neda Zagorchinova
6 simple rules for beginner wedding guests
In my career as a wedding coordinator, I am often confronted with a variety of issues from the newlyweds, their parents, relatives, and guest friends. After thinking for a long time, I decided it was time to start writing something like a wedding handbook, because, contrary to popular belief, organizing a wedding is not easy. In this column of mine, I plan to answer the most common questions related to weddings on a monthly basis.
In the first article of this series, I will explain what you should and should not do when you are invited to a wedding. Now you will ask "What rules?! Can't I just go and have fun? My answer is - Absolutely! You have to have fun in the first place, but there are some things that the wedding etiquette requires and if you just follow this short guide, you can become the favorite guest at any wedding.
Confirm your presence
The first and most important thing is to confirm your presence at the wedding. Usually, when you receive the invitation somewhere at the bottom of the invite, you will see a deadline to confirm your presence. You will make it much easier for your friends, the newlyweds, if you just meet this deadline and with a short text message, call, and why not even an email, let the Mr and Mrs to be, whether you will be able to come or not. Keep in mind that this is important for them, as wedding venues often require an exact number of guests well ahead of the wedding, based on which, is calculated the total amount the couple will have to pay for the wedding dinner.
Don't invite yourself
One of the worst things you can do is to invite yourself to a wedding. The fact that your parents have received an invitation, does not automatically mean that you are invited too, along with your partner and your three children. The invitation is given to a specific person and most often the names of the guests, who are expected to attend, are written on it. If the invitation says "For the Georgiev family" you should contact the couple and ask which part of the family, it refers to and whether the whole Georgiev family is really invited.
Weddings have a dress code
If the newlyweds have indicated in their invitation a certain dress code, it is desirable to follow it. There is nothing more inappropriate than turning up in a ball gown or a tuxedo when the dress code is casual. If there is no specific dress code, it is always good to find out the location of the wedding. A ballroom suggests more formal attire, but if the celebration is outdoors in the nature, you may be more comfortable with something more casual and flat shoes. In any case, it is important that you do not wear white. This color is reserved only for Her Majesty the Bride and should not be worn by any guest. The other color that is good to avoid when choosing wedding attire is black.
Don't be late
Be on time! If the invitation says that the ceremony starts at 19:00, be there half an hour earlier. It is quite unpleasant for the municipal official to wait for a guest because they have called that they are "coming in 5" and they must see the ceremony at all costs. The ladies from the municipality usually have a busy schedule and it is possible that they will have to be at another wedding at 19:30.
Don't take up too much time from the newlyweds
At some weddings, the newlyweds decide to go around the tables, say hello to all the guests and thank them for coming to their wedding. But there are ALWAYS one or two guests who decide at this very moment to use the occasion to chat with the bride, because they have not seen each other for a long time, to tell an anecdote or to explain to the newlyweds how they always knew they would get married, and to begin that story from the very beginning. When the wedding is small, understand less than 30 people, it may be okay, but if you are at a wedding with 150 people, such a "quick" toast can quickly become a real torture for the couple.
Make sure you have band-aids
At my weddings, I usually always carry a large box of band-aids in my bag so I can be prepared when the first lady who has decided to wear high heels gives up. It happens, however, that the couple, who do not have a wedding coordinator, forget about this small detail, and the wedding happens to be in a location away from all kinds of pharmacies and drugstores. In that case, don't forget to put one or two band-aids in your bag just in case. Even if you are not wearing heels, you will be able to help a girl out.
If you have more questions, do not hesitate to ask me and I will be happy to help you deal with the chaos called "Wedding Organisation".